Why censoring is f-ed

I work with small children, I understand why we should watch our mouths in public. They're little sponges. The other day, a four-year-old told me I was an asshole for telling him to stop talking during a movie.

I also went to school for journalism, so I can appreciate the freedom of speech and am weary of censoring information.

However, this is not a debate on the merits of censoring or not; it's a critique on how censoring has gone horribly wrong.

In case you've been living in a cave for the last six months, Rihanna has a new song called S&M. That's stands for sadomasochism, people. Here's a peek if you haven't seen it:

The song is actually quite catchy. It took me a while to realize what she was actually singing about. S&M isn't my thing, but I can at least appreciate the song. The other day I found myself singing along with the radio when I had to stop and listen again, without my voice horribly out-singing my girl Rih.

Lets be real. The lyrics such as "chains and whips excite me" should have been what shocked me, but it was what the radio station cut out instead that made my jaw drop.

Here's the chorus:

"Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it. 
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it. 
Sticks and stones may break my bones, 
But chains and whips excite me. "


What I was dumbfounded to hear was that the big, bad S word had been censored. That's SEX. The woman is talking about getting whipped in bed and the radio station censored the word SEX!

If you were going to censor the song, DON'T PLAY IT AT ALL! Do you really think taking the word SEX out of the song will make it more socially acceptable? It's a raunchy song. Period.

I'm not saying it shouldn't be played on the radio, I'm simply suggesting some intelligence in deciding what Cumulus thinks the public should hear. "Sex" is the least inappropriate part of the song.

All I know is that when I'm not surrounded by four-year-olds I'll be singing the real words as loud as I can.

Why it sucks to lose

... or as Stephanie Thrasher would say, "It sucks to suck."

I guess I got my first big dose of failing today. I'm not one to talk about feelings, but I think getting this out in the open will help.

I FAILED.

Ok, that didn't hurt so bad. No ... it still does, but at least it feels good to say it.

I have been applying for Teach for America for well over two months now. I passed three rounds of interviews and faced hours of interrogation from yuppy-ass Yale graduates about my thoughts on "educational inequality." I'm pretty sure no one who went to Yale knows where Thorndike, Maine is or went to school in trailers, but that's besides the point. (I'm still a little bitter. Ok, a lot bitter.)

The real story here though, is the fact that I've waited a whole month to hear back about my in-person interview that took me two previous interviews to get to. Today, I got the fated, "We're so glad you applied to Teach for America BUT ..." letter.

I've been trying to not get so worked up about this program. I knew it was really competitive to begin with. I knew my chances were low and I didn't want to get upset if I didn't get it. Well, I didn't get it and I'm upset.

I guess there is a laundry list of reasons I'm sad I didn't get the job:

1. I really wanted it.
2. I don't have a back-up plan.
3. I thought I nailed my in-person interview.
4. I jumped through so many hoops to get to the final stage only to get a rejection letter.
5. I really wanted it.
6. I don't have a back-up plan.

In reality though, all those things can be wrapped up in to one big reason why it stings. This is my first bout with rejection. I've never had or applied for a "real" job where I eagerly waited a reply. I got into all the colleges I applied to. I even had a status lined-up on Facebook if I got an acceptance letter. As far as aspirations go, I've never had my little dreams tromped on until now.

I know it's not the end of the world. I know there are lots of other things I can do now. I know when I have to tell all kinds of people I failed, they'll still like me. I know I'm a big girl, and should grow up.

I know all these things, but it still sucks. At least the anticipation of hearing back is over.

I won't end this sad self-indulgent blog like that though. Life will move on. Opportunities will arise. New things can grow from here. It's not the end of the world.